Kitchen Shenanigans
by Cupe
Summary: Request for Xanrivash. Featuring Axel's cooking attempts and Zexion's mockery of said attempts slowly morphing into a rather tasty situation. Rated for smut, dirty things and improper use of chocolate sauce.


**_Author's Note: This was requested and is written for Xanrivash. Who is utterly awesome in every way and I'm damned proud to call her a friend. Go read her stuff, now! This is also the first fic I have written and published on my sexy new laptop, whootage!_  
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**Kitchen Shenanigans**

Normally, Axel didn't cook. Normally, he only ventured into the kitchen to bother whoever was already cooking, on the grounds that whoever it was was likely a far more competent cook than he. Today, however, had found him coming back late from a mission to find he had missed dinner and there were no leftovers or microwave fixes to be found. No one else was planning on cooking anything purely for his benefit and so he was left to fend for himself.

"Aren't pancakes normally reserved for breakfast or dessert?"

Axel paused, batter coated spoon in one hand, and turned to glare at the smaller male in the doorway.

"No one asked your opinion, y'know...Though you're welcome to lend a hand, Zexy."

He winked suggestively at him, the Schemer raising an unimpressed eyebrow in response.

"I don't believe I should have to tell you that if Demyx witnessed this he might find reason to drown you - Eight!"

Axel chuckled as the illusionist wiped a blob of pancake batter from the tip of his nose and brandished the spoon warningly.

"Keep it quiet and I might let you have a few."

The faux charming smile was wiped promptly from his face when Zexion snorted, no traces of batter on his face to lessen the effect of his amused expression.

"Eight, you realise that half starved vermin wouldn't touch your cooking with a ten foot barge pole, correct?"

Axel rolled his eyes at the Schemer's superior tone, going back to the bowl of batter.

"And how d'you figure that?"

He asked without looking round, more than a little irritated by this point.

"Does seemingly losing a fight with a jar of pasta sauce ring any bells to you?"

The Flurry blushed as red as his hair, muttering under his breath about evil jars and how every kitchen item seemed to be out to get him. Zexion apparently heard all of his monologue, given his infuriatingly condescending reply of:

"Of course, Eight."

Axel could _hear_ the little bastard's smirk from here! He decided not to rise to the bait and continued what he was doing.

There was a blessed silence for all of about five minutes. Zexion basking in the quiet as he was known to do and Axel thinking of all the creative ways he could lynch the former.

"You are aware that there aren't meant to be lumps in the mix, aren't you, Eight?"

Axel groaned out loud, damning the Schemer to the delightfully fiery pits of Hell. This continued as the Flurry purposefully dealt with the mentioned lumps and began cooking the pancakes. The first few were complete failures (much to Zexion's delight, he was sure...) but by the fifth one there was considerable improvement in the burnt and edible bits ratio.

"Eight, you're doing it wrong."

Honestly, if Axel had to hear those words one more time...Regardless whether or not his friend was fucking Zexion (obviously not hard enough, in Axel's opinion) he would throttle him.

"I would suggest not-"

As the Schemer's voice cut through the silence again, Axel's patience finally snapped.

"Oh that is it!"

He growled, turning off the cooker and rounding on the smaller male. Zexion's eyes widened and he protested vainly as Axel grasped the front of his robe and slammed his back into the nearest wall.

"Shut the _fuck_ up already! Jesus Christ, how the fuck does Demyx put up with you!?"

Those wide cobalt eyes narrowed then into a death glare unfitting of one so unable to physically act out said death.

"Release me at once."

He commanded in a quiet voice that rang with all the authority he could muster. His hopes of this ending well for him sank when he felt Axel's knee spreading his legs, pinning him against the wall more effectively.

"Axel! You wouldn't-"

"Oh, so it's Axel when you want something, eh? Well, it's not going to work, I think you need to lose this high and mighty bollocks."

Axel cut him off as he began to try a different method of reasoning. Well, shit. Zexion yelped as he was shoved against the counter none too gently and his arms were forced behind his back, the redhead using something to firmly tie his wrists together. What...

"What do you think you're doing!?"

Zexion winced at the slightly panicked note that entered his voice. Damnit, he was not going to give Axel any satisfaction from this whatsoever!

"Relax, I'm not gonna rape you if that's what you're fretting about. Dem would never forgive me if I did."

Well, that was comforting, if Zexion's over active imagination wasn't supplying all the other ways Axel could make the next few hours a living hell...He turned to try and get a better look at what the redhead was doing and maybe get an idea of what he had planned. He raised an eyebrow at the (clean) wooden spoon in Axel's hand, giving him a questioning look until the pyro shoved his face back against the wooden counter top. His silent questions were answered moments later by a short, sharp blow to his rear. Zexion jerked and swore in surprise and pain. That...Had hurt a considerable amount...

"This is what happens to naughty little boys who forget their place, like you, Zexy."

Oh how the tables had been turned! The blows started falling in a steady rhythm after that, each hurting slightly more than the last. If he was happy about anything at the moment, Zexion was glad for the lack of an audience, this was humiliating enough on its own...Worse still because his trousers were starting to get a little on the tight side.

Zexion fought to keep as still as possible, biting back any and all embarrassing noises that threatened to escape. He believed he would get away with it until Axel placed a hand on his abused ass, drawing a quiet whimper quickly followed by a low moan when he squeezed lightly.

"Oh...My.."

Zexion winced, he could hear the shit eating grin...

"You dirty little thing...If Demmy could see you now..

The Schemer froze. That was the last thing he wanted. He knew how badly it would hurt his boyfriend to see him in such a compromising position.

"Axel, please...!"

"What...Do you think you're doing!?"

Both stopped at the new voice, turning to look at the door with identical wide eyes looks. Demyx folded his arms across his chest, eyes narrowed on both of them in a glare. Oh shit...

"I don't believe either of you..."

"It's not what it looks like!"

Zexion began trying to explain, struggling against what ever held his wrists prisoner.

"Your fuck toy was being a pain, so I taught him a lesson."

Demyx approached the two of them, his face not betraying a single thing. Axel and Zexion both held their breath, waiting for a reaction.

"Hmm...You know, I think I kind of like this position..."

Axel's eyes widened a fraction as the Nocturne groped Zexion roughly, evidently loving the sounds the action brought. He turned to face the redhead, smirking a little.

"Shall we give my little slut what he wants?"

The Flurry was shocked into silence for once glancing at the flushed illusionist and nodded, his own smirk returning in full force. Zexion's non-existent heart sank a little. Someone untied his restraints then Demyx was kissing him as Axel bit and sucked at his neck, leaving bruises and hickeys in his wake. Zexion was surprised to find himself naked so fast, gasping as Demyx slapped his already sore ass.

"You really did a number on him, Axel."

He commented, snickering as a hand caressed the reddened skin. The other shrugged, it being obvious how much Zexion had enjoyed it by how hard he already was. The latter blushed darker when Demyx squeezed said erection, drawing a quiet moan from him. Unseen by the illusionist, Axel and Demyx's eyes met over his shoulder and a silent agreement was met.

Zexion suddenly found himself on his knees, gasping as Axel pressed a saliva slicked finger into him, forcing his knees further apart with his free hand. He looked up at Demyx blearily, not sure whether he was allowed to enjoy this or not...

"Fuck, he's tight Dem..."

Axel mused aloud, forcing another finger into the illusionist, loving the small, suppressed moans and whimpers coming from him.

"I know."

Demyx chuckled, smirking a bit. He regained his boyfriend's attention by pressing the head of his cock against his lips, hissing quietly as the Schemer obediantly set to work, licking and sucking. All the while, Axel peppered bites along and across the latter's shoulders and collarbone as he fingered him. He grinned when he touched that sensitive spot deep within him; Zexion's body tensed and he let out an utterly arousing noise.

"You can fuck him...He feels incredible."

Both Axel and Zexion were surprised by this offer, normally Demyx was very possessive of Zexion, as if worried he might slip through his fingers. It was not as if either was particularly adverse to this, however, the feeling of attraction was wholly mutual between all three of them. The location, however, left much to be desire. Zexion made to pull away and question this but a firm hand kept him in place. He looked up at Demyx, swallowing and continuing to suck him expertly, he knew his boyfriend wouldn't put them in serious danger of being caught.

Zexion was so wrapped up in the blow job he was giving Demyx that he failed to notice Axel had removed his fingers. He did, however, notice when the redhead pushed in; the friction caused by the lack of lube was almost unbearable...Demyx suddenly pulled out of his mouth, kneeling next to him. One of his hands travelled down Zexion's chest, lightly pinching a nipple. The Schemer blinked at him blearily when two fingers replaced his cock. He sucked lightly, eyes widening at the taste. The sitarist grinned, brandishing a bottle of chocolate sauce. _Oh_. Axel had stopped moving to watch as Demyx stood again, drizzling the viscous liquid over his length before offering it to his boyfriend. Zexion raised an eyebrow, but didn't complain, allowing a few inches to slide into his mouth. He sucked off the chocolate sauce with enthusiasm, cleaning Demyx's cock thoroughly with his mouth and tongue. He faltered briefly when Axel pulled out almost all the way and thrust back in hard, causing him to moan around the shaft between his lips.

They kept a steady rythm for a while, just enjoying the sensations before it all got a bit much and Demyx came, thrusting hard into Zexion's mouth. The Schemer blinked, surprised, but swallowed thethick seed with a small purr-like noise, moaning sharply when the musician pulled out and Axel thrust into him again. Hard. Demyx stood back, panting and watching as Axel shoved Zexion's chest tp the floor, holding him down solidly as he began fucking him harder. The sounds of skin slapping against skin amidst crescendos and antiphonal moans filling the kitchen. The Nocturne watched, fascinated as a small amount of his come trickled unnoticed down the Schemer's chin, the latter too preoccupied with the cock being driven in and out of him with force to much care. He chuckled when Zexion tried to free a hand with which to stroke himself, wanting to relieve the ache that was becoming distracting now...Axel ignored his pleas as he all but fucked the illusionist into the floor before climaxing inside him seconds later. Zexion made a soft noise, whimpering when Axel pulled out and flipped him onto his back in one fluid motion, his tied hands trapped beneath him. Demyx knelt next to him once again as Axel smirked, wrapping a teasing hand around Zexion's erection, making the smaller male writhe. The musician gently pulled Zexion into a sitting position, kissing him softly as Axel continued stroking him, squeezing the base and prolonging this. The Flurry pulled away after a few moments, smirking wickedly. He nodded to Demyx who released the Schemer, untying his hands. Zexion looked at them pleadingly, his arousal almost painful now.

"I want you to bring yourself off, but....Give us a nice show, got it memorised?"

Axel grinned as the illusionist leant back a bit, wrapping one hand around his shaft while the other began teasing his nipples, pinching and twisting before trailing down to his parted thighs, he gaze meeting that of Axel and Demyx again. They knew what was going to happen by the small smirk curling at one corner of his mouth, but neither was prepared for the effects it would have as Zexion pushed two fingers into himself with a small groan, tipping his head back as his eyes lipped closed.

It didn't take long at all, the dual stimulation and the strangely arousing knowledge that he was being watched made little work of Zexion and he came with a soft cry, panting softly and staring unseeingly at the spectators. Demyx smiled, moving closer to him and kissing his lover softly, threading a hand into his sweaty hair.

"You're amazing..."

The Schemer blushed at his lover's words, a half formed, protest dying on his tongue when Axel joined them, gesturing silently towards Zexion's come covered hand. The latter rolled his eyes, moving to suck and lick the thick liquid from his fingers, making that soft purring noise for their benefit. He did the same for his other hand, Axel's come covering his fingers when he removed them and proceeding to dribble down his thighs, but he could care less.

Demyx helped the Schemer to his feet and they relocated their clothing with some difficulty while Axel disposed of the charred remains of a very unfortunate pancake. With an unspoken promise to pursue this sort of gathering again, they parted ways, Demyx and Zexion to the former's room to them to enjoy a nice long bath (the duration of which measured in how many more times they had intercourse) and to use the rest of that bottle of chocolate sauce; Axel portalled off world to find a take away restaurant, leaving the pancakes as a lost cause. He would have to come back late from missions more often - especially if his kitchen endeavours ended in shenanigans.

**Finito.**

**_Post Script: Yes. I can write smutty, dirty bits D. Hope you enjoyed, remember, reviews mean that more sex happens!_**


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